A new normal

I suppose it is human nature to reference or compare a new experience or environment to that which you know best, to what you know as “normal”.   It gives you a frame of reference, a way to approach your new situation with some sort of already embedded understanding.  When a new experience is nothing like your known “normal” you tend to go into survival mode—doing the best you can with what you know and the tools you have. You may be cursing under your breath and popping Ativan as you go, but you soldier on nonetheless. I think any of us who are, can certainly confirm that being a parent is one such experience. What you once knew as “normal” will never be again. You are carving out a new one now—a wonderous sculpture consisting of diapers, bibs, onesies, sippycups…soiled shirts, leggings, unwashed hair and unshaven legs… sleep deprived eyes, and mountains and mountains of laundry. Your frame of reference has shifted and you find yourself unable to chime in to conversations that don’t revolve around breastfeeding issues, behavioural challenges, revolutionary advances in baby gear, or time-out methodologies. Soon, however your new normal begins to feel….well more normal I guess. It becomes the backdrop that you compare your future life changes to.  And once you've tackled parenthood, all other life changes seem preeeeeeeety manageable somehow.  I think that is how I have come to embrace this major life change I find myself in now.  Moving to another country!  with my toddlers!  Eight-thousand-three-hundred-and-sixty-five miles (that's 13463 kilometres) from my parents and brother and closest friends!  Sure no problem! It cannot nearly be as bad as throwing my back out at 36 weeks, 18 hours of labor, or the torture of sleep deprivation for four years straight...or teething, the poop painting phase, or the epic tantrums of the terrible twos. 

Bring. It. On.

We are approaching our 6 month mark of calling Australia our new home, and I am just now starting to ache for some of the things I love about our old home.  Besides the obvious things to miss like decent mexican food and decent beer that won't keep my kids college education from going bankrupt ($25 FOR A 6 PACK OF IPA PEOPLE!!),  I miss family dinners and small talk around my parents fire pit, I miss my glorious mama friends and their babes, whose little faces I miss much much more than I thought I would watching my own children change and grow.  I miss walking around my sweet little neighbourhood and discovering new local food and fare.  I miss having the option of visiting the ocean each and every day. I miss hanging out with those who have seen me grow over the last 20 or so years and listening to their talents poor forth on the strings they strum and skins they thump.  Although I do occasionally ache for these and other familiarities of home, there are so many things that I appreciate about where we are now: Wide open spaces where my son regularly sees cows and sheep and horses while learning the sounds they make:  no traffic; bush walks among gum trees with stunning skies that can only found in AUS; having extended family so close where we regularly get together with cousins, aunties, uncles, grandparents, and great-grandparents;  living on a street where every afternoon, children play together, running in the yards, riding bikes and scooters and skateboards and all the parents embrace the gang as they move from house to house. These things are becoming my new normal.  And just as I came to be more or less fluent in the language of mommyhood, I slowly negotiate my way through this new dialect too. I have started to pack my refrigerated items in an "esky" when I need to keep them cool on a road trip or party.  I occasionally "reckon" things and my kids "have a go" instead of a turn. I go to the "loo" and put my groceries in the "boot".  I "give way" while driving on the right side of the car on the left side of the street. There is  a civility to the language and the culture here that I am thankful my children are exposed to, though teaching manners and regular please and thank-you's still has its challenges. As most things in life do. Challenge is something I've never really shied away from and I think that is what has driven me into so many amazing life experiences. I am thankful for that, and thankful to be living this particular challenge now.